What do I tell them….

1 04 2011

As I posted last night, this morning was my HSG. Earlier this week was my consult with the RE. Pending everything going smoothly, next cycle I will have appointments for monitoring, and for the IUI.

I live in tiny town X. I work 5 minutes from home, also in tiny town X. The RE is in the far end of the downtown of big city Z. From my house in X to RE in Z, I have to allow 45 minutes, on a good day, for travel and parking time.

I work full time, in consumer retail. I work 8.5 hr shifts, 5 days a week, on a rotating schedule weekly. I only get 30 minutes for a lunch. I have to submit all time off requests ten days in advance, minimum. This includes doctor appointments. My husband also works full time(well beyond that, actually) and works an additional 45 minutes away from home, in the opposite direction of the RE’s.

Anyone who has pursued MA knows it is all about the wait. You cannot plan ahead, because you never know what your body will do this cycle. It’s simply a matter of waiting to O, waiting to test, etc.

I know I am going to need time off for these procedures. I do not want to waste a cycle because I can’t get out of work. I do intend to talk to my RE’s office to find out what their extended hours are, so I can hope that they will be able to accommodate working families. But what do I tell my boss? I do not want my private life, or my reproductive issues, being discussed by the gossipmongers at work, and unfortunately, the more people you tell, the easier the gossip spreads.

Now, I will say this. I have told my supervisor. She is 100% supportive and doing everything she can to work the schedule for me. She will not deny me additional training and understands that I possibly would not be returning to work after having a baby(she knows we have been trying for a long time, and that we cannot afford daycare in order for me to work full time, and it depends on if management would approve my availability if I would return or not post baby). At my request, my supervisor is NOT saying anything to management at this time, because I do not think they need to be aware until after I am pregnant.

Being pregnant(so long as there are not complications) would not affect my job. I would still be able to do all the things I need to do for my job, and adaptations can be made to allow a pregnant worker to have it easier as well(three coworkers are currently pregnant, so I have seen these things be done). I honestly am most nervous about coworkers reactions to this, than to my ability to do my job. But it’s telling management that scares me the most.

I am walking a fine line here. Do I tell my boss that we are trying to get pregnant, and possibly lose out on additional job opportunities because of the possibility of pregnancy? Do I tell my boss nothing, and hope that I don’t get noted as a flaky employee with having to adjust my schedule last minute because of these procedures?




2 responses

5 04 2011

It sounds like you know what you are comfortable sharing… which from what I can gather is not much! I personally am of the opinion that work and personal stuff should be kept separate. It just seems easier that way. Depending on what protocols you use, there are so many freaking appointments – and not all of them can be planned 10 days in advance.

You might want to check out FMLA… These are medical appointments and you have certain rights to your job regardless of your health status.

We did two IUI cycles. There was a baseline Ultrasound at cd3, then monitoring us at day 10 to confirm mature follies, followed by back to back IUI’s on cd 11 and 12. We got lucky and a few of these appointments fell nicely on the weekend (which meant we had to pay an extra weekend fee at the clinic, but it was worth it not to miss more work.)

If you are concerned about being seen as flakey, you could mention that you have some medical issues, nothing to be concerned about but needs to be addressed, and will need some flexibility for a series of upcoming doctor appointments. They don’t need to know what is going on, but you might end up having to say something.

Good Luck!

5 04 2011

I wish I qualified for FMLA, but unfortunately I have not been at my job long enough yet to be able to use it. I do not think I would lose my job due to this, but I probably do need to at least say something to my boss.

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