They’re taunting me….

2 05 2011

The peesticks, that is. I have a giant box of OPK’s sitting under the bathroom sink, begging me to pee on them. I know there is no point in peeing on them today, because it’s only CD6, but it is soo tempting to just pee on one…..just one…just one. I shouldn’t have even bought them today, but A- I had a coupon and B- today was the only day my schedule allowed for a ninja-esque shopping spree at one of the stores in my town(I work at the ONLY 24 store in town and refuse to buy supplies there, it’s bad enough having my scripts filled there).

The first four days of Clo.mid have gone well so far. I just took dose 4 within the last hour, and will take the 5th and final dose tomorrow night. I have had some side effects, but nothing too atrocious, just annoying enough. I’m hoping the hot flashes don’t get worse in the next week like they did last time I was on clo.mid. I’ll start peeing on sticks on thursday, most likely, if I can hold out that long, and am scheduled for monitoring on sunday morning at 8 am(talk about a way to spend mothers day…).

My current obsession is stalking fed.ex, as my spermcicles are en route to the RE right now and I can’t wait for them to be delivered. Everything will be in place then, and it will just be a matter of time. I’m stuck in this vicious timesuck, waiting for anything at this point.

I also have a close relative, I’ll call her K, that is dealing with infertility as well. She also has PCOS, and just today had her first RE consult. She knows some of what we are dealing with, and we’re going to be about two weeks off being cycle buddies. This brings me to a slight dilemma…we’d always planned to not tell anyone before the end of the first trimester, because of the risk of miscarriage and wanting some privacy. However, with K knowing, she’ll know when I am due to test, and I don’t really want to lie to her, mostly because I know she can understand the situation of wanting so badly to have a child. If I tell K, I definitely want to have told my mom first…and once K knows, she’ll tell her mom, who will talk to my mom. I can just see it spiralling from there. I love my family, but I do NOT want them knowing intimate details about my reproductive life. My mother knows the most, and even then she doesn’t know the details, because its not necessary for her to know. I guess in the next few weeks I will have to decide if a white lie is more important so I can at least keep quiet until past the first ultrasound IF this cycle works out.

My brain is rambling. I think its time for me to tell it to shut up and just get some rest, and hope I don’t dream of giant dancing peesticks.




2 responses

3 05 2011

I’m on CD7 and am taking my last dose of Clomid tonight preparing for an upcoming IUI this cycle. Hopefully this will be the month for both of us.

3 05 2011

Sounds like we are cycle buddies! Today is day 7 and my last dose as well! Good luck!

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