10 Day You Challenge- Day 3 and the lure of the peesticks

23 05 2011

Eight Fears:

8. Heights. I am terrified of heights, but yet I love being up in the mountains, up in tall buildings, etc. It’s only when I have to climb stairs to get to those heights and can easily tell how high I am going that I get ill. Once I am up high, I love it again.

7. Small Spaces. I’ve never been a fan of small spaces, but it was never bad enough to call it claustrophobia. I had to have an MRI a few years ago and I lasted less than 2 minutes before I started having a full blown panic attack because of the tight space. I ended up having to be sedated in order to get it done. I now am even worse in enclosed spaces-airplane bathrooms make me want to hurl(for multiple reasons, lol), small elevators make me want to take the stairs, etc.

6. Spiders. I do NOT do creepy crawly things. Even seeing a spider web is enough to make me start twitching.

5. Needles. This one actually doesn’t bother me nearly as much anymore. I can’t see the needle go in me-I get totally woozy and panic. But I can see the needle once it is in me, and watch them take it out, no problem. I don’t even hesitate anymore, thanks to infertility and all the shots and blood draws.

4. Driving in a foreign country. We lived overseas for several years thanks to the military, and driving was an absolute nightmare. Street signs were ridiculous, road rules were not followed, it was just a giant disaster.

3. Failure. I hate to fail. I loathe and despise it. I hate not being great at everything I do. I’m a failure at having a family right now and I can’t stop kicking myself for it.

2. Having surgery while awake. I’ve had to have surgery twice while awake, and I loathe it. Nothing is creepier than knowing people are working on you and you cannot move while they are doing so.

1. Losing everything that matters. I am terrified of losing my family and having to start over on my own. My family is my world, and while I am my own person, I am who I am because of them. I don’t know what I would be like without them, and I don’t want to find out, ever.

2ww update:
managed to resist the lure of the peesticks this morning. They’re sitting in my bathroom, torturing me. I might give in tomorrow. we’ll see.




One response

24 05 2011
jes g

best of luck with the pee sticks!! do you have a beta scheduled??

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