update

15 06 2011

Had a repeat beta today. In just under 24 hrs, my levels almost cut themselves in half. I’ve got another beta scheduled for this weekend to ensure that my levels are going down. My doctor wants me to continue betas every 3-4 days after that until we hit zero. Based on how things are going, he thinks they will zero out within a week, and I can expect to have AF then.

I’m one of the ‘lucky’ people with an ectopic pregnancy. I’m managing to miscarry naturally. I don’t have to worry about my tube rupturing or being removed via surgery, or taking toxic drugs in order to kill my baby so that I can live. Unfortunately, I still get the higher risk category from now on, with increased odds of another ectopic. My RE is not too concerned unless I have 2-3 ectopic pregnancies, at which point his recommendation would be to remove my tubes and proceed to IVF. We’re nowhere near that point, so that discussion is off the table for now.

As long as my levels zero out, he said we can try again after one full cycle, so hopefully at the end of july/beginning of august. I don’t know if emotionally we will be ready, but I do know that at least right now if we don’t try at least once more before my husband deploys for a year, we will sincerely regret it. I hate that we are on this time crunch. We only have a very limited number of cycles left before he leaves. Even though we are using a donor so I could technically continue to try while he is gone, that is not an option for us.

I’m struggling a lot in the last day. I still feel pregnant, even though I’m miscarrying. Hopefully my pregnancy symptoms will subside quickly and I can feel as physically normal as possible. I’m incredibly blessed to be married to my husband. He has been my rock throughout all of this. He has held me while I cried, dragged himself out of bed insanely early to take me just to get my blood drawn so I wouldn’t have to go alone, and so much more. I love him so much and can’t imagine going through this without him.

There is a lot more I have to say about my clinic and how all of this was handled, but I’m trying to organize my thoughts and let my emotions settle down a bit before I put it out there. I’ll probably post about that later this week.

 

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4 responses

15 06 2011
Fiona

So glad DH is being so amazing with you. You know I am here, PM me on facebook if you need a chat xx

15 06 2011
Lala

So sorry you are going through this. I suppose it is “lucky” that you’re miscarrying naturally, but that doesn’t lessen the heartbreak or total unfairness of it all.
Glad you’ve got a supportive and caring husband. Take care of the both of you.

16 06 2011
chon

I am really sorry to hear about your loss. I recently suffered a m/c and it was devastating. I was so excited and then it just crashed down within a week. Know that you have lots of people around you to support you and use those people too. Best wishes.

16 06 2011
starfishkittydreams

I am so sorry you are going through this. I came over from Lost and Found and was sad to hear the news. It must be devastating. During our journey we’ve had multiple losses and each is an emotional rollercoaster. Take care. { Hugs }

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