Dear AF, where the F(&* are you?

22 04 2014

I miscarried in February. I was done. I declared I didn’t want to think about TTC until summer. I wanted a few months to just LIVE without thinking about getting pregnant. We said we’d avoid, but not prevent. Based on history, I figured my cycle would be a little messed up after the loss, but didn’t think it would be too off since it was so early.

I paid zero attention to any fertility signs in the first 30 days. I wasn’t in the mood to do much anyway, and if I did..well, we’d just go with it. Again, not against getting pregnant, just not TRYING to get that way. CD35 rolled around and I started wondering if AF would show. Peed on a stick, no AF. Okay, start paying attention. CD43 rolls around, POAS again, no dice, no period. Start getting annoyed. Wear new undies. Wear light colored pants. Make plans for things where I do NOT want AF to show.

NO DICE.

WTF? Where are you, AF? I was happy to avoid you for a few weeks, but now, I’d really like my fucking body to resume somewhat normal operations.

I peed on an OPK on CD58. Not positive, but not invisible second line. Took a GOOD hpt too. Negative. OPK again on CD60. Not positive, but closer to invisible than the last.

So either:

  • I O’d somewhere around CD58 and AF will show in 10 days or I’ll get a positive HPT, because you know, we didn’t do anything to prevent within a possible time frame
  • I still haven’t O’d and in 10 days I’ll still be wondering where the fuck AF is
  • Af will mysteriously show with no warning
  • Aliens. Aliens, I tell you

I’ll keep you posted if she ever shows…

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